"this may sound real ghetto, but I'm gonna tell you anyways"
-The Thief
do they have that on google?
"Do I have a PC?", asked the Gypsy
"Well... is your computer a Mac?", responded a coworker
"No" answered the Gypsy
"Then yes, you have a PC"
"Well... is your computer a Mac?", responded a coworker
"No" answered the Gypsy
"Then yes, you have a PC"
tiiiimmmmeee is on my side, yes it is
"...That's wild."
Sweat balls comment after a coworker took five minutes to explain a 2 page document to him. The explanation came after Sweat balls stated that he didn't have time to read it.
Sweat balls comment after a coworker took five minutes to explain a 2 page document to him. The explanation came after Sweat balls stated that he didn't have time to read it.
I can't imagine another way to put it
"Let me put it to you this way... If you're going to take shit- when you're done you are not going to have to have some one tell you how to wipe - it's just part of the task"
Sweatballs telling it like it is
Sweatballs telling it like it is
toothbrush and maxipads
"....so I said, who cares as long as you turn the glove inside out"
The thief relaying a story she was being told by her sister about borrowing and using 'prison-made strap-ons'
The thief relaying a story she was being told by her sister about borrowing and using 'prison-made strap-ons'
You bet he does
"Yes, he gave my friend clamidia"
The Theif's answer to the question "does Wes Mckane from kiss fm really get with as many girls as he says he does?
The Theif's answer to the question "does Wes Mckane from kiss fm really get with as many girls as he says he does?
White Power
"Oh, for white Power?"
-The theif commenting after a co-worker mentioned some days she wished she had a white flag
-The theif commenting after a co-worker mentioned some days she wished she had a white flag
Football Season
"Hey, what does the 'C' stand for on the Chicago Bear's helmets?
...the theif asking about The Chicago Bears Helmets
"...we steal from that farm every year, you can't break tradition!"
...the theif talking about getting the kids pumpkins for Halloween
...the theif asking about The Chicago Bears Helmets
"...we steal from that farm every year, you can't break tradition!"
...the theif talking about getting the kids pumpkins for Halloween
Higher Learning
"An African School? Why does she want to do that?"
- The gypsy asking about a co-workers application for school (not African School)
- The gypsy asking about a co-workers application for school (not African School)
Sweat Balls
"Someone signed for UPS using my name. I can prove it wasn't me... see the time stamp on my Mcdonalds receipt?"
-Sweat Balls pissed about the UPS drop off
"Was he really sick or was he out getting his twinkie stinky, know what i'm saying ha ha ah"
-Sweat Balls theory on a co-worker's sick day
-Sweat Balls pissed about the UPS drop off
"Was he really sick or was he out getting his twinkie stinky, know what i'm saying ha ha ah"
-Sweat Balls theory on a co-worker's sick day
first things first
"Sure, the first thing is I have to do is go to the store to buy tampons."
-the thief answering the question "are you ready for me today? Do you know what you want me to do"... asked by a co-worker whom she is training today
*side note nothing has been done for the past 45 minutes regarding this question (including going to the store)
-the thief answering the question "are you ready for me today? Do you know what you want me to do"... asked by a co-worker whom she is training today
*side note nothing has been done for the past 45 minutes regarding this question (including going to the store)
dictionary definition
"Do you know the meaning of substantial battery?"
- The Thief describing her past endeavors to a co-worker
- The Thief describing her past endeavors to a co-worker
abroad
"My girl that does my nails husband went to a foreign country, but it wasn't the same as the one you went to"
-The thief talking about traveling the world to a co-worker
-The thief talking about traveling the world to a co-worker
shout it from the (indoor?) rooftops
"We got VIP summerfest tickets that are up on a roof.... is that outdoors do you know?"
-The Thief discussing her free tickets
-The Thief discussing her free tickets
Nice
"He was really nice, you guys. Actually, I can't even say that, but his car was really nice"
-The Thief on a friend's new man
-The Thief on a friend's new man
behind closed doors
"What did I do?"..... "I'll be out in a second"
-the Thief calling out from inside the bathroom
-the Thief calling out from inside the bathroom
It ain't where your from, it's where you're at!
"To reset my password they are asking for where I was born.... and I keep putting hospital and it's not working...."
-The Thief on trying to sign in
-The Thief on trying to sign in
another 48 hours
'he came out in shackles, and he looked really hot'
-the thief commenting on her husband's jail attire
'the lawyer is only going to charge him 1/3 of what he should, because he sends him so much business'
-the thief commenting on her husband's attorney fees
-the thief commenting on her husband's jail attire
'the lawyer is only going to charge him 1/3 of what he should, because he sends him so much business'
-the thief commenting on her husband's attorney fees
I guess that is worse?
"You know whats worse than dying ??? having a full bladder waiting for the doctor and he never showed up because he died"
-the Thief on doctor appointments
-the Thief on doctor appointments
sense of smell
'you're not really north side fit, the niggers will smell you out'
- the Thief explaining where not to live
- the Thief explaining where not to live
quotes of a thief...
"Isn't it funny how things like that happen? How do flies come back to life in my window sill? How does a mouse get into my oil can? It's hole is this big and a mouse is this big and it got in their and drownded[sic]"
- the thief pondering home life
"....well it's the 8th grade education that really fucked me. Just kidding, it's the felony charge"
-the thief on why she can't be a notary public
- the thief pondering home life
"....well it's the 8th grade education that really fucked me. Just kidding, it's the felony charge"
-the thief on why she can't be a notary public
LDL
Alright... Here we go
Turn my headphones up... put sum treble in it... Let the beat hit...
Ugh
One,
Two,
One.two.three -
Ugh... steady rhyming and scheming
Trying to figure out a reason,
Why magic's boo is hunting coyotes out of season!
As confusing as that is
Is amusing during biz-
-ness hours to hear stories of my man Larry
Who definitely isn't a fairy
He fired his own son
You know the one who gave his wife a gun
See he got hard when he was with a crack whore
And then thought of his wife and couldn't hold it up anymore
he thought of his wife Vivinne and went limp,
Janice was the crack whore that used him to pay off her pimp
Now Limp Dicked Larry is how he's known in the hood
Or LDL if you want to keep it on the DL - it's all good!
Turn my headphones up... put sum treble in it... Let the beat hit...
Ugh
One,
Two,
One.two.three -
Ugh... steady rhyming and scheming
Trying to figure out a reason,
Why magic's boo is hunting coyotes out of season!
As confusing as that is
Is amusing during biz-
-ness hours to hear stories of my man Larry
Who definitely isn't a fairy
He fired his own son
You know the one who gave his wife a gun
See he got hard when he was with a crack whore
And then thought of his wife and couldn't hold it up anymore
he thought of his wife Vivinne and went limp,
Janice was the crack whore that used him to pay off her pimp
Now Limp Dicked Larry is how he's known in the hood
Or LDL if you want to keep it on the DL - it's all good!
Definitely maybe
"We can definitely do that for you, I just want to check with my boss first"
- Magic to a customer
- Magic to a customer
that girl is poison
Gypsy: '... well there was a funeral, and I never knew this word before, but we had to write like 50 anecdotes about him.'
Thief: 'Oh, well an anecdote is a cure for poison.'
Thief: 'Oh, well an anecdote is a cure for poison.'
I guess there is such thing as a stupid question
'So she's going for her degree in criminal justice at WCTC? so what . . . she is going to be a lawyer?'
-the gypsy
-the gypsy
$
"oh him? I was playing him for money"
- the thief talking about a new found facebook friend whom she could not remember at first
- the thief talking about a new found facebook friend whom she could not remember at first
A rap song about work
Huh what yeah... Turn up the beat...
Speed it up speed it up speed it up
Let's go...
Waukesha: born and raised
Working for a label company is where I spend most of my days
We're a manufacture of pressure sensitive labels
I have to sit upstairs and listen to fables
Stories about mystical gypsies and thieves,
And when it gets hot magic takes off her sleeves
4 whole days spent on a pictures and a shower curtain
Seems like a waste of time to me but I’m not really certain
Every now and then I talk to a pregnant man
But when he starts to converse Im not a fan
I’d almost rather listen to FM and I don’t mean radio
And I’ve said it before and to remind you I keep it gangsta, yo!
Speed it up speed it up speed it up
Let's go...
Waukesha: born and raised
Working for a label company is where I spend most of my days
We're a manufacture of pressure sensitive labels
I have to sit upstairs and listen to fables
Stories about mystical gypsies and thieves,
And when it gets hot magic takes off her sleeves
4 whole days spent on a pictures and a shower curtain
Seems like a waste of time to me but I’m not really certain
Every now and then I talk to a pregnant man
But when he starts to converse Im not a fan
I’d almost rather listen to FM and I don’t mean radio
And I’ve said it before and to remind you I keep it gangsta, yo!
I think I would know
Magic: "question for ya*, Dave said you tore your acl"
Pete: "no i didn't"
Magic: "yeah a couple years ago you did"
Pete: "no i didn't, it was something else"
Magic: "Dave don't know his shit, I knew it was not your acl"
*please note there is no actual question, and please also note magic tells Pete that he did in fact tear his acl, and then in the next breath says she knew it was not his acl
Pete: "no i didn't"
Magic: "yeah a couple years ago you did"
Pete: "no i didn't, it was something else"
Magic: "Dave don't know his shit, I knew it was not your acl"
*please note there is no actual question, and please also note magic tells Pete that he did in fact tear his acl, and then in the next breath says she knew it was not his acl
Monday Magic
"do you want anything pacific"
- magic on the phone with a customer
"it will obviously probably cost more"
-magic discussing product costs with a client
- magic on the phone with a customer
"it will obviously probably cost more"
-magic discussing product costs with a client
gangsterism
"everyone knows the first rule of gangsterism is to keep your mouth shut when the cops call you in"
See what herion does?
"he made his wife scam 50 thousand dollars from her mom, she's a christian though, he's scandalous like that"
"he beat up his wife so she called the cops, and the cops made her give him $100,
and that is how fucked up the cops are"
"he beat up his wife so she called the cops, and the cops made her give him $100,
and that is how fucked up the cops are"
12 days of christmas
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 12 puffy black coats for stealing, 11 bags of dog food with makeup and onesies shoved inside, 10 knockout fighters that got my back, 9 cases of stolen power bars for selling, 8 niggers in the closet she was fucking, 7 bottles of adderal, 6 pistol whippings, 5 pictures of her really pretty self, 4 stolen Monistat’s from Wal-Mart, 3 premature babies on badger care, 2 teenage whores and a paternity test for our possible black baby
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)