"Isn't it funny how things like that happen? How do flies come back to life in my window sill? How does a mouse get into my oil can? It's hole is this big and a mouse is this big and it got in their and drownded[sic]"
- the thief pondering home life
"....well it's the 8th grade education that really fucked me. Just kidding, it's the felony charge"
-the thief on why she can't be a notary public
