red dot

"I wish I had my sister's address, I really want to send her one of these packages" said the Thief.

A coworker then asked, " Can't you just look it up on watchdog.com, you know that site for sex offenders?"

the HIV

"Wait until you see what I come home with, bitch!"

"What, HIV from all the guys you fuck!?"

- the Thief and her husband on a phone call at work

69!

He got that gay 69 tattoo covered up. I mean, it was a cool ass tattoo that looked good, but it was fucking gay.
"The Thief talking about her husband's new ink"

cats

"I hate sneaky cats. Ever since that one crawled into my underwear drawer and diarrhead all over the place"
-The Thief talking pets

safety first

Saved by the Bell

"I didn't have sex with him, I just liked the name"
- The one upper talking about how she named her son after Zach Morris

email woes

"Where did you send it, to my inbox?"
-The Thief on the phone asking about an email that was sent to her

Abuse is hilarious?

"Speaking of abuse, you guys want to hear a funny story?"
-The Theif

huh?

"...So, how did he drive both cars out here?"
-the Gypsy asking a (in her mind) legitimate question

silence, and then...

" I'm supposed to go jump in a pool, what did you say??"
-The Gypsy breaking the silence in the room

All in a days work

"oh shit, I forgot it's Bobby's court sentencing today, and then afterwords he gets brain surgery"
- The Thief

"You always have so much energy!"
- A coworker commenting on the Thief's energy level... not realizing she is addicted to adderall and the only thing she has for lunch is Monster Energy drinks

rock-n-roll

"...I'm just the old rock-n-roll guy in the crowd"
The shark, after being asked who turned on the crappy music

goes without saying...

"this may sound real ghetto, but I'm gonna tell you anyways"
-The Thief

do they have that on google?

"Do I have a PC?", asked the Gypsy

"Well... is your computer a Mac?", responded a coworker

"No" answered the Gypsy

"Then yes, you have a PC"

tiiiimmmmeee is on my side, yes it is

"...That's wild."
Sweat balls comment after a coworker took five minutes to explain a 2 page document to him. The explanation came after Sweat balls stated that he didn't have time to read it.

I can't imagine another way to put it

"Let me put it to you this way... If you're going to take shit- when you're done you are not going to have to have some one tell you how to wipe - it's just part of the task"
Sweatballs telling it like it is

toothbrush and maxipads

"....so I said, who cares as long as you turn the glove inside out"
The thief relaying a story she was being told by her sister about borrowing and using 'prison-made strap-ons'

Thrifty

" My sister taught me how to make homemade tampons"
the Thief

You bet he does

"Yes, he gave my friend clamidia"
The Theif's answer to the question "does Wes Mckane from kiss fm really get with as many girls as he says he does?

White Power

"Oh, for white Power?"
-The theif commenting after a co-worker mentioned some days she wished she had a white flag

Football Season

"Hey, what does the 'C' stand for on the Chicago Bear's helmets?
...the theif asking about The Chicago Bears Helmets

"...we steal from that farm every year, you can't break tradition!"
...the theif talking about getting the kids pumpkins for Halloween

Sweet Corn

"....you know corn, ....I'll see you tomorrow Corn"
The Gypsy discussing her eating corn

Higher Learning

"An African School? Why does she want to do that?"
- The gypsy asking about a co-workers application for school (not African School)

Sweat Balls

"Someone signed for UPS using my name. I can prove it wasn't me... see the time stamp on my Mcdonalds receipt?"
-Sweat Balls pissed about the UPS drop off

"Was he really sick or was he out getting his twinkie stinky, know what i'm saying ha ha ah"
-Sweat Balls theory on a co-worker's sick day

cereal bowl

"Who ever invented the cereal bowl with a straw is a genius"
-The Gypsy